Is Your Child Hooked on Screens? How Apps Use Persuasive Design

If you have ever asked your child to put their phone down and been met with “just one more minute”, you are not alone. And it is not simply a matter of willpower.

Many of the apps our children use every day are carefully designed to keep them scrolling, tapping and coming back for more. Understanding how that works is the first step to helping our children take back control.

The features built to keep them hooked

Think about the apps your child loves. Videos that play one after another without stopping. Feeds that never end. Streaks that disappear if they miss a day. Notifications that pull them back the moment they put the phone down. Likes and comments that give a small rush of excitement every time they arrive.

None of this is accidental. These features are designed to capture attention and keep users engaged for as long as possible, because attention is what many platforms rely on to make money. Adults find these features hard to resist. For children, whose ability to manage impulses is still developing, it is even harder.

As a healthcare professional who has worked with children and families since 2013, and as a mother of three, I have seen how this plays out at home: disrupted sleep, arguments at bedtime, children who feel anxious when they are away from their screens, and parents who feel worn out and unsure what to do.

What governments are doing

The good news is that the world is starting to take this seriously.

In the UK, the Online Safety Act places legal duties on online platforms to protect children from harmful content and to consider children’s safety in how their services are designed. Ofcom, the regulator, is responsible for enforcing these rules.

Other countries are going further. Australia has introduced a minimum age of 16 for many social media platforms, a world-first approach that many governments are watching closely. It is still too early to know the full impact, but it has started an important global conversation about whether children should be on these platforms at all.

Laws matter, but they cannot do the job alone. Parents remain children’s first line of protection.

Practical steps parents can take today

You do not need to be a tech expert to make a difference. Here are some simple, realistic steps:

1. Talk before you set rules. Ask your child what they enjoy online and how certain apps make them feel. Children are more likely to follow rules they understand.

2. Create a family screen time agreement. Agree together on when and where devices are used, for example no phones at the dinner table and no devices in bedrooms overnight.

3. Turn off non-essential notifications. This one change can reduce the constant pull back to the screen.

4. Use parental controls, but don’t rely on them alone. Controls are a helpful tool, but open conversation is what keeps children safe when they are out of sight.

5. Model the behaviour you want to see. Children notice when we are glued to our own phones. Putting our devices down sends a powerful message.

6. Make sure they know they can tell you anything. The most important safety rule is that children feel able to come to a trusted adult when something online makes them feel uncomfortable, without fear of losing their device.

Child safety is everyone’s responsibility

I grew up in Africa, where children are raised by the whole community. I believe the same should be true of keeping children safe online. Parents, schools, tech companies, governments and communities all have a part to play.

That belief is why I founded Parentive, a London-based online safety education platform for families, and why I deliver online safety workshops in schools. It is also why I wrote my new book, “Designed to Hook Them: A Parent’s Guide to Social Media, Screen Time and Keeping Children Safe Online”. It explains how Big Tech platforms work, what governments in the UK and around the world are doing, and gives parents clear, practical tools to protect their children without fear or guilt.

You do not have to get everything right. Small, consistent steps, and lots of honest conversation, can make a real difference to your child’s relationship with technology.

About the author

Mabinty Sesay is the founder of Parentive, a healthcare professional and a mother of three based in Greenwich, London. She delivers online safety workshops in schools and is the author of several online safety books for children and parents. Her new book, ‘Designed to Hook Them’, is available on Amazon in ebook and paperback.

Find out more at parentiveapp.com.