Romance, as we know it, has always been a story people tell themselves. But what happens when those stories no longer fit the world we live in? Author Khel Kalyan is raising that question with his new book Make Love Not Marriage, a bold and provocative exploration of the expectations, ideals, and cultural baggage surrounding modern relationships.
Kalyan’s project is not a rejection of love, intimacy, or partnership. Instead, it is a direct challenge to the idea that marriage — or any single structure — should be treated as the ultimate proof of connection. By laying bare the contradictions between what people are told to want and what they actually feel, Make Love Not Marriage invites readers to step back and ask: what do we really need from each other, and what do we truly want?
Breaking Out of the Mold
For generations, marriage has been framed as the natural endpoint of romance. From family pressures to cultural traditions, the narrative was clear: real love was only validated by a legal or religious contract. Kalyan points out that this assumption can trap people in situations that don’t serve them — or worse, that actively harm them.
His book dives into these tensions, showing how individuals who might have otherwise pursued deep, fulfilling partnerships are instead forced into choices dictated by external expectations. While many still find meaning in marriage, Kalyan argues that the institution should not be confused with love itself.
The idea resonates strongly in today’s cultural moment. In London, as in other major cities, marriage rates have steadily declined over the past two decades. Reports from the UK’s Office for National Statistics show that younger generations in particular are delaying marriage — or skipping it altogether — while still seeking meaningful, long-term relationships. This shift in social behavior provides fertile ground for the kinds of questions Kalyan is raising.
A Global Perspective
Kalyan’s approach is also shaped by his own multicultural lens. Love, after all, is not a one-size-fits-all phenomenon. Different societies celebrate, regulate, and interpret intimacy in unique ways. In some cultures, arranged marriages are still common; in others, the emphasis is on romantic love but within rigid frameworks.
By drawing on a range of perspectives, Kalyan underscores that there is no universal template. Instead, he suggests that the healthiest path forward is one where individuals have the freedom to define relationships on their own terms — whether that means marriage, partnership, or something else entirely.
This perspective is particularly relevant to readers in London, a city defined by its diversity. With more than 300 languages spoken and communities from every corner of the globe, Londoners understand that culture shapes relationships in profound ways. Kalyan’s book provides a lens through which to consider these differences not as conflicts but as opportunities for growth and understanding.
The Personal Meets the Universal
One of the reasons Make Love Not Marriage is connecting with readers is its balance of personal insight and universal relevance. While Kalyan is deeply informed by research and observation, he doesn’t write from a purely academic standpoint. Instead, he brings in stories, experiences, and reflections that give his arguments a human dimension.
This storytelling approach makes the book accessible to a wide audience. Readers don’t have to be scholars of psychology or sociology to understand the stakes. They just have to be human — someone who has felt the tug of romance, the weight of expectation, or the confusion of navigating intimacy in a world full of conflicting advice.
Why It Matters Now
The questions at the heart of Make Love Not Marriage could hardly be more timely. In London alone, mental health charities have reported a surge in relationship-related anxiety over the past few years, a trend accelerated by the pandemic and the cost-of-living crisis. Headlines about loneliness, burnout, and fractured connections have dominated UK media.
Kalyan’s book doesn’t pretend to have all the answers, but it does offer something equally important: permission to ask new questions. It suggests that love should not be evaluated by whether it follows a script, but by whether it nurtures and sustains the people involved.
In a culture where social media often showcases curated versions of romance — the grand proposals, the elaborate weddings, the carefully staged declarations — Make Love Not Marriage reminds us that real intimacy is quieter, messier, and often less photogenic. And yet, it may also be more real.
Building Conversations, Not Conclusions
Kalyan has been clear that the purpose of his work is not to dictate a single “right” path. Instead, it is to open up conversations — between partners, within families, and across generations. The goal is not to dismiss marriage, but to decouple it from love in a way that allows people to make more authentic choices.
This emphasis on dialogue is what makes Kalyan such a compelling voice for media and public discussion. Already, podcasts and interviewers are turning to him for his perspective on the rapidly changing relationship landscape. His willingness to speak candidly — and to listen just as closely — positions him as a thoughtful commentator on one of humanity’s oldest, yet most evolving, subjects.
A New Kind of Love Story
Ultimately, Make Love Not Marriage is less about dismantling an institution than about broadening our imagination. It suggests that we are free to write our own love stories — stories that may or may not include marriage, but that must always include honesty.
For London readers, where cultures collide and traditions meet innovation every day, the message lands with particular force. The book is both a critique of outdated assumptions and an invitation to explore what love might look like when freed from unnecessary constraints.
As debates over relationships, gender roles, and cultural change continue to dominate headlines, Khel Kalyan’s work offers a steady voice reminding us that love itself is not under threat. It is only the narrow definitions that limit it.
And for anyone willing to look beyond those limits, the possibilities are wide open.
Find it at https://www.amazon.com/Make-Love-Not-Marriage-Relationships/dp/1919634983